Helping Kids Deal With Death

My kids have been fortunate enough not to have had to deal with a serious death, yet. The most we have had was a dead fish, that we flushed down the toilet, and led Caitlin to ask if God was in the toilet. She thought because she learned at church that when you die you go to heaven, that God must be in the toilet if that is where we sent the fish. While we can laugh at this because it sounds cute, death is serious, and kids can have a very hard time dealing with it. Yesterday, DJ's penpal friend had a very sad death occur, that she witnessed. Her neighbors puppy was ran over right in front of her. DJ was not sure what he should tell her to make her feel better, so he sent her some virtual flowers, hopefully they helped. Even I sometimes, being a nurse and have dealt with all kinds of death, and dying still sometimes am not sure exactly what to say. Hugs, and support seem to work the best, with little or no words. A few tears never hurt either.

Professionals agree that children need to learn about death, as much as life. It is a circle of life, and unfortunately nothing lives forever. If you are religious you may have already discussed this, or not depending on your childs age. If not you need to tell them in ways they can understand, without big complicated words. Be honest, and don't try to make it sound like no big deal. Most importantly, I think, is to let them communicate how death makes them feel, whether you agree with their emotions or not. Some people are angry, hostile, or withdrawn when dealing with death. While others seem to be distant, or even cold from it. Everyone reacts in their own way, and there is no real right or wrong way to feel. One of my absolute favorite sights for anything that has to do with kids, health, emotions, drugs, choices, whatever is http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/death.html If you have never checked out their site it is very helpful, and kids love it. It is not just for homeschoolers, and it is free.